5 SIGNS YOU’RE A BAD MARRIAGEABLE PARTNER

So how do I know the kind of marriage partner I may be? What are the warning signs that tell me I’ll most likely not make my marriage enjoyable? Today on ishare100, Jerry Okelade (Pst) shares with us on 5 signs that you maybe a bad marriageable partner.

Just as a doctor will diagnose a sins through its signs and symptoms in the same way, it so good to diagnose whether you are a good marriage material. In order not drive home my point, it is good to x-ray some of the signs and symptoms of a bad marriage material.

When You’re Selfish

Marriage is not only a commitment a haven where the essence of love is in self-giving. This is not to suggest that you should lose yourself with your spouse, which can also be detrimental to a marriage. It only means if you’re only thinking about yourself, your spouse becomes an object-not a partner- and mutual love cannot grow. If you want him to cater to you constantly without reciprocating, you’re not good when it comes to compromise, and you don’t want to share him with family and friends, chance s are your selfishness will eventually alienate and suffocate him. Most selfish people use their partners’ love against them and hold their partners accountable for their own happiness.

2.     When You’re Extremely Jealous

If you’re a jealous person by nature, this won’t change once you out a ring on it- it’ll only make it worse. Agreed that we’ve all been jealous from time to time, and some may argue that a healthy level of jealousy is actually good for a relationship. However, extreme jealousy is a sign of insecurity, and professing your love before God and guest won’t change feelings of low self-esteem or inadequacy. Now that’ he’s not just your boyfriend, but your husband, your possessiveness will increase tenfold and you will feel threatened by every woman he homes in contact with if you don’t get a handle on your jealousy issues. Be honest with yourself and get help if needed.

3.     When You’re A Party/Club Person

Most men wouldn’t take too kindly to their wife dropping it like it’s hot in the club every night. A few ladies could tolerate a night crawler for a man. There’s nothing wrong with partying and mad marrying and having a good time with friends, but when you have a partner at home who wants to spend quality time with you, it’s not good. Going out with your girls from time to time is great, and he should get out with the peers as well. No one is suggesting that you cut off the rest of the world where you have no outlet. However, the type of opening and frequency should not compromise the amount of time you spend with each other. In marriage, you need to find a balance between being together and being out with others.

4.     When You Do Not Like Children

There is nothing wrong with liking or not wanting children – it’s not for everyone, and it doesn’t automatically exclude you from being seen as a wife material. However, you have to keep in mind that if you are a dating a person who wants children\, or who has children already, then it won’t matter how much you love him/her….it’ll never work. He/she will resent you, and you’ll be miserable. Children are a commitment all on their own aside from marriage, so if you both aren’t united on this front, the marriage will eventually collapse.

5.     When You Are Promiscuous Or A Cheat

Let’s face it, you know if you’re a cheater or not. This is not to say that once a cheater, always a cheater but most people who are repeatedly unfaithful in relationships don’t change unless they truly are ready and they want to. If you want to, then great you can change and be a great wife to a wonderful man. But if you haven’t finished sowing your royal oats, then don’t bring anyone else into your mess. Remain single until you can remain faithful

 

4 Ways to Speed up Your Computer's Performance

There are a few guidelines that you can follow to maintain your computer and keep it running smoothly. This article discusses how to use the tools available in Windows XP Service Pack 2 (SP2) to more efficiently maintain your computer and safeguard your privacy when you're online.

1. Free Up Disk Space

By freeing disk space, you can improve the performance of your computer. The Disk Cleanup tool helps you free up space on your hard disk. The utility identifies files that you can safely delete, and then enables you to choose whether you want to delete some or all of the identified files.
Use Disk Cleanup to:
• Remove temporary Internet files.
• Remove downloaded program files (such as Microsoft ActiveX controls and Java applets).
• Empty the Recycle Bin.
• Remove Windows temporary files.
• Remove optional Windows components that you don't use.
• Remove installed programs that you no longer use.
Tip: Typically, temporary Internet files take the most amount of space because the browser caches each page you visit for faster access later.
To use Disk Cleanup
1. Click Start, point to All Programs, point to Accessories, point to System Tools, and then click Disk Cleanup. If several drives are available, you might be prompted to specify which drive you want to clean. Disk Cleanup calculates the amount of space you will be able to free.



2. In the Disk Cleanup for dialog box, scroll through the content of the Files to delete list. Choose the files that you want to delete.

3. Clear the check boxes for files that you don't want to delete, and then click OK.

4. When prompted to confirm that you want to delete the specified files, click Yes. After a few minutes, the process completes and the Disk Cleanup dialog box closes, leaving your computer cleaner and performing better.

2. Speed Up Access to Data

Disk fragmentation slows the overall performance of your system. When files are fragmented, the computer must search the hard disk when the file is opened to piece it back together. The response time can be significantly longer.
Disk Defragmenter is a Windows utility that consolidates fragmented files and folders on your computer's hard disk so that each occupies a single space on the disk. With your files stored neatly end-to-end, without fragmentation, reading and writing to the disk speeds up.
When to Run Disk Defragmenter
In addition to running Disk Defragmenter at regular intervals, optimally monthly, certain events warrant running the utility outside of the monthly rule of thumb. You should run Disk Defragmenter under the following circumstances:
• You add a large number of files.
• Your free disk space nears 15 percent.
• You install new programs or a new version of Windows.

3. Detect and Repair Disk Errors

In addition to running Disk Cleanup and Disk Defragmenter to optimize the performance of your computer, you can check the integrity of the files stored on your hard disk by running the Error Checking utility.
As you use your hard drive, it can develop bad sectors. Bad sectors slow down hard disk performance and sometimes make data writing (such as file saving) difficult, or even impossible. The Error Checking utility scans the hard drive for bad sectors, and scans for file system errors to see whether certain files or folders are misplaced. If you use your computer daily, you should try to run this utility weekly to help
prevent data loss.
To run the Error Checking utility:
Important: Be sure to close all files before running the Error-Checking utility.
1. Click Start, and then click My Computer.
2. In the My Computer window, right-click the hard disk you want to search for bad sectors, and then click Properties.
3. In the Properties dialog box, click the Tools tab.
4. Click the Check Now button.
5. In the Check Disk dialog box, select the Scan for and attempt recovery of bad sectors check box, and then click Start. In most circumstances, select Scan for and attempt recovery of bad sectors
6. If bad sectors are found, choose to fix them
Tip: Only select the automatically fix file system errors check box if you think that your disk contains bad sectors.

4. Protect Your Computer Against Spyware

Spyware collects personal information without letting you know and without asking for permission. The information that spyware collects ranges from a list of Web sites that you visit to usernames and passwords. In addition to privacy concerns, spyware can hamper your computer's
performance.

News: N-Power Portal for Second Round of 300,000 Jobs Opens in June 13th

N-Power programme - Acting President Yemi Osinbajo has said the portals for NPower would be reopened on June 13 to absorb additional 

300,000 of the National Social Investment Programmes (NSIP).

This is even as he declared that  the NSIP initiative was not designed as a favour for the nation’s vulnerable ones but because as citizens, the

beneficiaries deserved it.

Osinbajo spoke yesterday at the second anniversary of the President Muhammadu Buhari’s administration, showcasing the achievements of the

NSIP with the theme: “A smile for every Nigerian”, as part of activities to mark 18 years of uninterrupted democratic rule, held at the  State

House Conference Centre, Abuja.

“The next phase of this programme will proceed on a surer footing. We will be reopening the portals for NPower on the 13 of June, we are

ramping up on the CCT, GEEP, and the Home Grown School feeding. Our targets are clear, soon enough we will put smiles on the faces of

millions more.

“I want to say to all of you that we do not consider the programme as a favour done to you. It is not. You deserve this programme because

you are citizens of this country.

“This country can provide and should provide for all that is in need of help and we will do our very best to provide.”

Osinbajo described the NSIP as a “heart and head” programme because not only is it difficult to ignore the pains caused by poverty, articulate

and detailed planning is required to provide appropriate remedies.

“The social Investment Programme is both a heart and a head programme.

Heart, because the pains of poverty cannot be ignored. The programme is also a head or logical common sense issue. A country’s economic

development is a function of the number living above poverty level.

“Our levels of poverty are so alarming that clearly some fundamental interventions by government are necessary.

“For all those who need the help, we will do our very best to provide.

“When some people talk about N30,000 for a graduate, it almost seems as if this is ridiculous, but it is clear that anyone who hasn’t had a job

for years, and that is the case for so many, needs that start in life.

“I am very, very proud of everyone of you for the ways you have gone about this. You have done this with so much dignity and you have gone

about ensuring that everyone who was listening to you is so extremely proud for the way you have conducted yourselves, the way that you

have shown so much commitment and so much dedication. This is truly the Nigerian spirit and I am extremely proud of you.”

Osinbajo said with the programme, Nigeria has shown that a massive programme could be initiated and managed on-line.

“The N-Power programme is the largest posttertiary jobs programme in Africa. We now know that we can train large numbers electronically.

“Secondly, we have demonstrated that a transparent process of employment is possible. All of these  young men and women have testified that

they knew nobody, paid nobody to get the jobs they now have.

“Thirdly, we have achieved great success in our  financial inclusion efforts  by bringing in  many, especially the extremely poor in the hinterlands

into the formal banking system.

“Beneficiaries of the Conditional cash Transfer programme, home grown school feeding vendors and cooks, now have BVNs and bank

accounts. We have also demonstrated that electronic payment on such a huge scale, across the nation is possible.

“Most importantly, we have ensured that our programmes are in all states not just APC states, so much so that some of the governors in non-

APC states even take credit for these Federal Government programmes.

“We know that our children in public schools, many from poor homes, do not really care about whether the food is from one political party or

the other.

“The fund will enable us to provide inexpensive mortgages for hundreds of thousands  across the country. Already the project has started in 11

States,” he said.


SOURCE: DailySun

THE BENEFITS OF USING SELF TALK

By Philemon K. Gora

One of the biggest influences that we can use to our advantage in life is oneself. In particular, we can use our thoughts because they influence our feelings and therefore can have a profound effect on how deal with life in general. By learning to control our self-talk and turning it into positive self-talk rather than negative, which most people do unconsciously throughout the day, you can begin to gain more control over every aspect of your life and make essential changes.

Your ability to succeed in life largely depends on how you deal with life, a positive mental attitude leads to a confident and ultimately more successful person than one full of negativity which leads to lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. By taking a positive attitude you look at life in a different way which leads to seeing good in people and the world which leads to optimism and success. Your quality of life is based on how you think and feel from moment to moment and changing the way you think can drastically change how you see life and deal with life.

 The person who goes through life optimistic with a positive attitude is better able to deal with life and the problem which it sometimes throws at us. They are able to bounce and recover from problems or set-backs in life. The optimistic person will see the problem as nothing but a temporary set-back which they can overcome and move on. When looking at life in this optimistic way the person is able to take full control over their thoughts and feelings and turn a negative situation into a more positive one by simply altering the way they think. Since thoughts can either be positive. Since thoughts can either be positive or negative and you can only have one thought in mind at any one time then choosing the positive will keep your thoughts, feelings and actions optimistic which leads to a happier person who is able to achieve their goals much easier.

How to Build a Strong Relationship

Exclusive ways to build a strong relationship

A strong or healthy relationship is one in which both partners involved in the relationship are able to express their individuality, it’s also seen as one in which there is mutual respect for each other’s feelings or perspective.  In any relationship, it is important to build a rock solid foundation at the very start.
So how can one enjoy a healthy relationship? Today on IShare100 I share with you some wonderful tips on that.

1. Effective communication

Many relationships don’t last not because the partners do not love each other but because of the failure of both parties to express their hearts. This is true especially for peeps on distance relationships.
So speak up, your partner is not a mind reader. Do not assume that your partner knows all. If there’s an issue that needs sharpening out, find a way to say and discuss it with your partner.
If you don’t know how to start a conversation, say, “there’s something on my mind and I’d like it if you listened.” You can also say, “Something is bothering me and I feel like we should talk about it.”
Please note that communication ought to be clear also. Without clear communication, a relationship can quickly bring out the worst in people. When you have a want or a need, express it to your partner clearly. Don’t beat around the bush or say something you think will please your partner when it makes you unhappy. Try using “I statements” to express your feelings, make an observation, or share your opinion. I statements allow you to express yourself clearly and directly and take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings while avoiding blame and accusations toward others.

2. Listen intently.

Part of a healthy relationship is knowing when to talk and when to listen. Develop your listening skills by not interrupting and letting your partner finish their thoughts and feelings. Truly listen, and don’t try to come up with a response while your partner is talking.
Use active listening skills by reflecting the content and emotions of what your partner is saying. Say, “let me make sure I understand. I hear you saying that you’re upset that I didn’t tell you what time I would be home, and you wish I would have said something earlier because you were concerned.”

3. Create healthy boundaries

Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped; they are created to maintain respect and understand expectations in the relationship. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, bring it up and discuss how things need to change and how each of you will make changes. If one person wants to spend lots of time together and the other does not, it’s important to set a boundary of how much time is appropriate together and apart.
For example, you may want to create sexual boundaries (being sexually exclusive) and social boundaries (having one night a week designated for friends or activities).
Don’t let your partner control you and don’t set out to control your partner. Setting boundaries means respecting each other and finding compromises to make the relationship work well.

4. Express emotions.

Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and stay open to the feelings that arise. Show interest in your partner’s feelings and support them during stressful situations. Connecting emotionally with your partner allows you to empathize with their experience.
If you’re feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner, start asking questions about feelings (and don’t blame or make assumptions). By discovering your partner’s feelings, you may begin to feel more compassion toward them.
Check in with each other. Make time periodically to discuss the relationship. Sometimes changes occur or schedules become busy and you may miss time to connect or talk about things. You may want to bring up relationship goals and expectations, as these can sometimes change. Ignoring difficult topics or hoping they will go away is one way for a relationship to crumble.

5. Treating each other well

Create a foundation of respect. Relationships can be fun and exciting early on, yet it important to make sure that you and your partner are rooted in respect. Act in ways that demand respect from your partner. Strive to treat each other with respect at all times, even when you are mad at each other.
Your partner’s wishes, thoughts, and feelings have value. Communicate to your partner that you consider the way they feel. Mutual respect is an important part of making a healthy relationship work.
Talk to your partner about creating respect in your relationship. Decide “do’s” and “don’ts,” such as name calling or sexual touch.

6. Appreciate each other.

A healthy relationship should be one in which you and your partner feel appreciated. Often, relationships are built from many small things added one on top of the other. Find the things your partner does for you and say “thank you.” Instead of focusing on mistakes your partner makes, focus on the ways your partner adds to your life.  When you notice something, speak out and show your appreciation.
Ask your partner how they like to feel appreciated. Write a note or a card, or make an effort to say “thank you” often.
Let your partner know how you like to be appreciated. Say, “It means a lot to me when you notice the things I do for you.”

7. Spend quality time together.

 It’s easy to transition from face-to-face time together to digital communication. Yet, sometimes meanings can get lost in translation or non-verbal communication becomes non-existent. Spending quality time together can help strengthen your relationship and increase the bond you and your partner feel together.
Find activities that you can do together regularly. It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee together each morning or reading together at night.
Trying something new together can be a fun and exciting way to spend time together. You don’t have to do anything crazy — even going out to dinner at a new restaurant or trying a new cuisine can be a fun experience.

8. Expect changes.

Know that your relationship will likely change. Allow growth for yourself, your partner, and for the relationship itself. Recognize that changes in your relationship are opportunities for new growth. Change is inevitable, so welcome changes and accept that the relationship will adapt.
When changes happen, take a deep breath and deal with them one by one.

TOP 15 QUOTES

Today on IShare100 I bring you some awesome quotes just to inspire you.
ENJOY!!!

#1. Henry Ford

Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.

#2.  Benjamin Franklin

He, who cannot obey, cannot command.

#4. Ruben Ramirez

Past experience should be a lighthouse that shows us the way, not a mirror moor in.

#5. Ralph Emerson

Write it on your heart that everyday is the best day of the year

#6. Eleanor Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

#7. James Openhelm

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

#8.  Robert Shuller

The good news is that the bad news can be change into good news when you change your attitude.

#9. Bernard Baruch

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the only one who asked why.

#10. Charles Schwab

People can succeed at anything for which they have unlimited enthusiasm.

#11.  Lyn Karol

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you’ll never run out of things to laugh at.

#12. Dale Carnegie

You can make more fiends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you.

#13. Yutang

The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach.

#14 Doris Mortman

Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.

****************And last but definitely not the least***************

#15 Martin Luther King

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

HOW TO BECOME A BETTER YOU

Today on IShare100 I share you with you some tips on how to become a better you, how to improve on yourself so as to add value to yourself.
If you desire to command respect amongst your peers, at workplace etc without necessarily asking for it, or you desire to have a good self-esteem then it is important that you fine tune or sharpen the qualities you possess. Follow me as we look at seven ways to become a better you.

1. Invest Your Time on BOOKS
Books are written in other to communicate knowledge. This became necessary especially given the fact that man is not an omnipresent being, that is, he cannot be in Nigeria and UK at the same time. Thus man writes in other to share his thoughts, ideas and/or experience with anyone concerned.
It’s time to start reading books. Read books that will transform you into whatever it is you want to become. Read good books that will give you that push to soar higher than you could ever think of. Once you buy a book, check the number of chapters and set a goal on how long you intend to study on that book. I will recommend that you don’t spend more than one month on a book except if it’s necessary. It is also good to do a review of books you’ve read once in a while.

2. Try a New Hobby
It’s time to pick a new hobby, to try something new. Is there something you desire to be doing but you always procrastinate on. It’s now time to start doing that thing.
I’ve always wanted to write articles but always give up as soon as I start. Well, now I don’t just write, I blog thanks to helpful materials like “if you want to write” by Brenda Ueland. Someone recommended it for me, click HERE if you're interested. I currently take piano lessons and very soon also I will be on YouTube. 
So make a list of hobbies you like, pick up one or two and work on till it becomes part of you. It is pertinent to invest your time on things that will develop you.

3. Overcome Your Fears
Where will you be five years from now, if you continue to do what you’re doing right now? Will you be happy with the person you become by then? If not then now is that time to break through those walls. The best way of defeating your fears is embracing it. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from attaining your objectives. You don’t want to look back at the years you’ve spent on this earth and lament instead of rejoicing.
Build on your self-esteem, change your mentality, Be bold like a lion (or if you like, King David in the Bible), soar high like the eagle, recognize your flaws and work towards perfection. 

4. Be Principled
Stop living your life like a leave tossed about anyhow by the wind. Its okay to learn from people but there should come a point in time in your life when people ought to also learn from you. Have principles or code of conduct you live by.
Don’t be the kind of person who eats anything, maybe anyhow and anywhere, have a good eating habit. Don’t be the people-pleaser kind of person, smoking, drinking or flirting only so you could gain acceptance amongst your peers. BE UNIQUE. be friends with those who have respect for how you feel and respect your own opinion.

5. Seek Mentorship
a wise man once told me, son , if you desire to achieve your vision quicker, find someone who has been where you are and learn from them". Chances are that you will not make the same mistakes that they make while soaring to achieve that dream that you’re currently pursuing. it is good finding someone to watch and advice you. if the personality you seek to learn from isn’t really accessible or not within reach(for reasons such as location or engagements) then consider getting books by that personality.

6. Distance Yourself from Negative People
These guys are like viruses, they can destroy the "born-to-conquer" mentality in you with a single word. They rarely share ideas with you but the moment you bring one, they will give you a hundred and one reasons why that idea won’t work. So keep close friends who build you up or encourage you to do so and distance yourself from those who don’t.

7. Self-talk
People many atimes see us exactly the way we see ourselves. if you keep telling yourself that you’re a failure, then most likely you won’t excel in anything reasonable and the society will end up thinking of you that way (A BIG FAT FAILURE).
So who are you? What you say to yourself about yourself is very important. Stop saying negative things about yourself, have the "Yes, I Can", "I’m special", "I’m unique", "conqueror" mentality. If people don’t agree with you, let them be, for it’s only a matter of time before they are humbled to their knees.

I conclude this article leaving you with a word of wisdom from two great personalities

Henry Ford

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right”

Eleanor Roosevelt

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

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